Okay, so you’re probably questioning the basis of this blog post already. I mean with a title such as, The Battle of Being the Other Woman, you can easily make out that this is probably going to be a little scandalous, you’re right. Being the other woman isn’t always easy, and it certainly isn’t right either. It’s a lot of self questioning, moral questioning, waiting, and suspense. I know, reading this now, you’re probably judging me as a person already, but let’s cut to the chase ladies, it does happen. Whether it is to us, or we’re the ones doing it, it happens, and will happen to you or at least someone you know. Who knows, maybe you have a friend that’s going through it right now, or a sister, or an aunt. For them, you’re hoping just as much as they are, when is this guy going to leave and just be with her? Yet, when theres a woman secretly trying to steal your man, the tables are flipped over with hulk force and steam spurts from your ears like a ready teapot.
I’m not saying not to be mad when that happens, by all means slap your man’s cheek and his lover’s too. What I am saying is simply, don’t look at these situations in cold black and white. Most of the time, it can’t be that clearly cut, it’s muddy, grey, and confusing, leaving you with no real answers when you’re the one waiting for a change, for a happiness not quite reached.
Now, not giving away any of my own experiences, I’m here to shed light on a not-so-approved topic. With controversies about if women are sluts, hoes, or whores if they sleep with taken men, the first response is usually, yes. But do we really know? Why are we so quick to blame the woman and not the man? Isn’t he too just as much of a man-whore, cheat, or scum? This should be responded with a yes as well, yet we become more hesitant, blaming the woman for acts of seduction, for attraction because she is beautiful. The truth is, both people are equally to blame. It takes two to be attracted to one another, two to act on that attraction and give into their personal desires. In the end, we become weak to the situation, no matter how many reasons there are not to let your guard down.
So, what exactly happens when you find yourself stuck in this kind of bind? You love this guy, or you think you love this guy, or maybe you just like him, or are attracted to him. Whatever your situation, you’ve been with them, tainting their actual relationship with flaw. Sure, this isn’t your problem, it’s not your life, but what about karma? Do you think it’ll happen back to you? Or does nothing even cross your mind? Like I said, this is tough, situations like this are very questioning on all levels of thought. There is nothing physically you can do about it. You can’t make them leave their partner. You can’t force them to be with you and only you. And you can’t choose what happens when. You’re the single one, so in the end, they are going to have to call all the shots, they’re the one with the partner to worry about, remember? Sounds like such a blast, right? No, not really. But you stay, you cope.
Coping with being the Other Woman is just about as easy as being her. You sit around waiting for the next moment of suspense, the next call, the next text, whatever. It’s annoying, so don’t do it. Get a life and go out and enjoy yourself. This guy has a life outside of you I’m sure he secretly enjoys, why shouldn’t you have one too? Don’t trap yourself, aka, don’t try to get pregnant with this guy. Remember when I said you can’t force them out of their relationship, well, a baby can’t either. In any case, don’t chase. Chasing isn’t for someone who is already caught, its for someone free, open, and single. Chasing someone who’s taken is like running to a store that’s already closed, pointless, you’re not going to buy anything. Don’t stalk or be jealous either, this solves nothing and leaves you still alone, still waiting and full of ugly resentment. If I can tell any other woman a word of advice, don’t chain yourself to this option, because it’s not your only one. You may not think so, but you deserve more, you deserve better. Running around with a married or taken man can be exciting, suspenseful, and maybe even a singe of dangerous, but it’s not happiness, not the happiness you deserve anyways. Always be open to the idea of finding someone knew, someone who doesn’t have another someone on the side. Someone who will only want you, because let’s face it reading Maniacs, you’re not second best, you’re first.
